Over the long journey and having overcome many hardships together, the Pilgrims’ bonds strengthened and they all became pretty good Palgrims.
(we'll show ourselves out)
Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving?
I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.
Which cat discovered America? Christofurry Columbus.
What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? Puritan.
Why do the pants of pilgrims keep falling down? Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
How did the Pilgrims die?
It was the Pil-grim Reaper.
What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
Traditionally, the letter G.
What’s black, white and red?
A Pilgrim blushing because he’d seen the turkey dressing.
What sound does a space turkey make? "Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!"
When do you serve vegan vitarian matcha-tea-flavored turkey-shaped tofu-loaf?
At Pranksgiving.
When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving
What can never ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?
Thanksgiving breakfast.
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
What smells the best at dinner on Thanksgiving?
The family dog’s nose.
Question: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Peach gobbler!
What do you get when you crossbreed a turkey with a harp?
A bird who can pluck itself.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
"To be roasted or not to be roasted, that is the question."
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving? Turkeys and people after Thanksgiving dinner.
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?
You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
How many chefs does it take to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey?
Only one and even then it’s a pretty tight squeeze!
I had to do something about my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.
Cold turkey was the only way to do it.
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
"Where's popcorn?"
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”
That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.
What do turkeys and women have in common?
A lot of guys are only interested in their breasts.
Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving entertainment band perform?
Somebody had eaten the drumsticks.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara the feeding frenzy starts all over again, yay!
What do jazzy people put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?
Groovy.
Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner?
It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey.
What’s the best way to deal with a turkey?
Have it killed and then cran-bury it.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? "Boy, I'm stuffed!"
What key can’t open doors no matter how hard you try?
Turkey.
What do you call a pilgrims vocabulary? Pilgrammar.
Question: Why did the cranberries turn red?
Answer: Because they saw the turkey dressing!
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What did the turkey say before he was roasted?
“OK, spare me no insults!"
What’s the easiest way to catch a turkey?
Ask a friend to toss one at you.
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey - because it is always stuffed!
Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers!
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.
“Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shot gun going, "Blam! Blam!"
Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?”
Kenny Rogerson
What’s the link between turkeys and teddies?
Stuffing. Lots of stuffing.
What would mothers most like to make on Thanksgiving dinner?
Good restaurant reservations.
On Thanksgiving dinner, most of us turn into hipsters.
We all go out of our way to eat the turkey before it is cool.
What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids?
If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his gravy!
What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google!"
What happens when you’re too harsh on the cranberries and make them sad?
They turn into blueberries.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all!