How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
I'd drink your bathwater.
Honestly, I'm into necrophilia. Wanna come home and play dead?
Are you a human? Just making sure.
Since all the hot ones are already taken, this is going to be your lucky night!
What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
Is that a discharge in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?
For a fatty, you don't seem to sweat much.
I bet your muffled screams are as cute as u.
You look like trash, may I take you out?
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
How hot does your gas oven get?
You're kind of ugly and fat. Lucky for you, I'm into those things.
I accidentally pooped in my pants. Can I get into yours?
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.
Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
You're that ugly that if I could do myself, I wouldn't need you.
You're like the neighbors' WiFi. Everyone wants to use you.
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!
I love you so much I would eat the corn from your poop.
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
Is your mom a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
You smell. We should go take a shower together.
How are you still so fat when you've been running in my mind for so long?
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I smell like your mom/dad?
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
Are you a durian? Because you're a total snack, but you smell like rotting flesh.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Antarctica is hot compared to you.
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
I hear you're looking for a stud. Well, I've got the STD and all I need is you.
My mom told me it would be good for my self-esteem if I asked out people who aren't conventionally attractive.
Do you have to leave so soon? I was just going to poison your drink.
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
I dreamt about you. You died.
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement.
Are you Ebala? Because you melt my insides.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!
Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
Hold still, there's a mosquito on your a$$.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
You're the thought that counts!
Damn! You're almost as hot as my sister/brother.