Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!