What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What did the panda say when he was forced out of his natural habitat?
This is un-bear-able.
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
What do you call a werewolf who doesn't know he's a werewolf ?
Unawarewolf.
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Did you hear about the koala bear in the church choir? Yeah, they say he sings bearitone.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
Why was the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in coffee instead of caw fee.
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
Psychologist: What brings you here today?
Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat….. Nuts.
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
What do ducks get after they eat?
A bill.
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates!
What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.