Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.