What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me