What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.