What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
A growl.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
Did you hear about the owl party?
It was a hoot.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
Why are owls so good at math?
They excel at owlgebra.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.