I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.