I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.