Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t PEELING well.
My doctor told me that I needed I kidney
I told her no. I'd prefer an adult-knee.
Earlier, I tried to sneak into the Star Trek convention disguised as the starship's doctor.
Security soon discoverd, however, I wasn't the real McCoy.
Why was the doctor doing diarrhia research scared?
He had seen some sh*t go down.
Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all info about 80s music!
Man: Yikes! What’s The Cure?
Doctor: Darn, it’s worse than I thought.
A small child was brought into hospital the other day after swallowing several small toy horses.
The doctors report that he is in a stable condition.
Ya know, I was supposed to be a doctor.
But I just didn’t have the patience.
Patient: ‘Doctor, I’ve swallowed a spoon.’
Doctor: ‘Sit down and don’t stir.’
Doctor, Doctor! I'm terrified of words that are also letters!
Oh you are? I see. Why?
My doctor didn’t show up to the appointment about my hairline.
He said it got pushed back
My doctor told me that his job is easy because he can heal all of his patients with trigonometry.
He has a sinecure.
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor!
Who is the second coolest man in hospital?
The hip replacement guy!
Me: I have an appointment to see the doctor.
Nurse: which doctor?
Me: No, just the regular one
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it:
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Guy: "Whats the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: OMG, and the good news?
Doc: You now have a tic tac toe.
Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
Doctor: Are you aware of your sodium intake?
Me: Na.
Doctor 1: what’s his body temperature?
Doctor 2: it’s 90 degrees.
Doctor 1: What?! That’s can’t be right!
Doctor 2: No, it is.
"Doctor Doctor I feel like a supermarket"
How long have you been feeling like this?
"Since I was Lidl."
Man: "I’ve had really bad gas lately." Doctor: D"on’t worry, it will pass."
Why did the house go to the doctor?
It was having window panes.