When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.