Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.