Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!