When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.