Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"