What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.