Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)