Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.