What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.