What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home